About Me

Sorry to disappoint but I don't get naked in the real sense - I give an honest day to day look at my life. All of it is real.

From here on in.

I’m changing my attitude. From today I will make my life the best it can be each day.

Things really do happen for a reason.

Live life, while you still can.


What’s on your mind?

Facebook asks the question “what’s on your mind?” and I’m really scared that once I start opening up and “saying” what is actually on my mind that I will never stop.



The dictionary describes gratitude as:

a feeling of being thankful to somebody for doing something.

I wonder how often we forget to show our gratitude for things?  Do you keep a list of the things that you are grateful for?  Here’s mine:

I am grateful for my mum – she did a sterling job, mainly on her own, of providing for me and giving me my drive to succeed (she also taught me all of my stock phrases, including my favourite “it was on special offer”).  Thank you mum.

I am grateful for my health – I have never been what I term as “sickly” and I enjoy good health.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my sight – I can see the beauty in the world and the faces of my loved ones.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my hearing – I can hear music, loved ones voices, birds singing, dogs barking, kids playing, thunder and rain falling.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my son – I have a funny, intelligent, caring, obstinate, cheeky and healthy young son.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my step-children – I have two very special step-children, they are fun to be with, caring, kind and intelligent.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my home – I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, chairs to sit on and a warm, comforting and safe area.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my work – I have a job I love to do and plenty of work, it pays me money which buys me food and clothes.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my friends – I have friends I can count on, they are funny, witty, intelligent and there for me.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my partner – I have someone who loves me for who I am, he is funny, intelligent, charming and a survivor, like me.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my ex-husband  - yes you read that one right.  I am grateful to my ex-husband for giving me my gorgeous son, for teaching me lessons that brought me to where I am today, for being a fabulous dad.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my partner’s ex-wife – yes, again you read that right.  I am grateful to her for so many things, for the time she has given up with the children so that I can spend time with them, for the lessons she has taught me, for the lessons still to be learned and for giving my partner his gorgeous children. Thank you.

I am grateful for the air I breathe – I have air to breathe.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my car – I can get to where I need to be.  Thank you.

What can you show gratitude for today?

With gratitude,



What’s in a name?

Rachel - A female sheep or ewe. Origin: Hebrew. Meanings: Innocence and gentility of a rose or lovely.

I’ve always known that my name translated to “ewe” in Hebrew, I don’t know how, perhaps I googled it at some point, but until recently I didn’t realise that my maiden surname meant that, roughly translated, the joint meaning behind my name was Grey Sheep. Not even a black sheep! Grey! How dare they?

To add insult to injury it also recently struck me that I am destined never to be a first wife – my first husband was previously married and my new partner has also been married before. This made me quite sad, it also made me think that I might be destined to always be compared to “the ex”.

While discovering these facts about my name I also found that Rachel (from the bible) was the second, and apparently favoured, wife of Jacob in the Old Testament. So maybe I’ll stop worrying about becoming the second wife, yet again.

I am not sure others would agree but I particularly like the meanings. What is the meaning behind your name and more importantly do you agree?

I’ll try not to leave it too long next time, but until then keep smiling.


Redundant? It needn’t be the end of the world

Redundancy is very probably every employee’s biggest fear at the moment. Being made redundant can be an emotional and stressful time, not least when you are barely keeping a roof over your head with the pittance you were previously earning before being unceremoniously dumped by your boss. Your boss who is more than likely more concerned with keeping up the payments on the Mercedes than ensuring the livelihood of loyal staff.

The dictionary describes redundant as:



(1) No longer needed or useful; superfluous.

(2) (of words or data) Able to be omitted without loss of meaning or function.

No longer needed or indeed, worse, no longer useful? That’s quite hard to hear, especially if you have been a loyal and hardworking employee for a number of years.

There are certain procedures that have to be followed when redundancy is being considered and employees should be treated fairly by employers. The first thing employers should do is establish a consultation period with any employee before dismissal on the grounds of redundancy. If you think the decision was unfair you can appeal but you only have three months in which to make an appeal.

If redundancy is the only option though and you find yourself “out on your ear” so to speak, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. If you have a low income or are on benefits you could be entitled to free legal advice from Community Legal Advice on issues such as: benefits; tax credits; debt; employment and family problems.

I have been made redundant – twice! The first time it happened I sobbed all the way home. By the time I got home my face looked like the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, not a pretty sight I can assure you.

With the first redundancy I don’t remember what it was that upset me more, the loss of my job or the fact that they had told me the minute I arrived at work. I had to do the walk of shame, you know the one… everyone in the office knew people were being made redundant and whilst half of them looked on in shock thinking “poor girl” the others were thinking “thank fuck it’s not me”.

More recently I was made redundant, whilst in Australia would you believe, from a job that I was pretty sure I had for life. Wrong!!! They handled it all wrong. Boy I wish I had appealed while I had the chance.

I was good at my job. I worked hard. I stayed late. I came in early. I did the hours I needed to do to ensure my job was done, as was stated in my contract of employment. It didn’t save me though. It didn’t save my friend either. When I look back I think it was the four days off that did it. I had a staggering four days off over a period of 14 months (shameful!) and when you consider that as well as sick time for me, I had to consider sick time for my childminder, my child and my childminder’s children, that’s pretty good going.

Honestly though redundancy doesn’t have to be the end… I started my own business because of those redundancies. I didn’t want to be reliant upon others for my livelihood anymore. I wanted my hard work to pay off for me and not my boss!

I have been self employed for around 18 months now and finally I feel like I am getting somewhere. Even with the struggles I have faced: losing my house; losing my car; and beans on toast for tea every night I would do it all again. I’m free. Unless all my client’s sack me in one go I will not lose all of my income in one fell swoop. Surely that’s got to be more job security than being employed right now?


I have just sat in my house, for the last time, and sobbed until I couldn’t see. Tomorrow morning Bailiffs will be there to take possession of my home so I decided that today I would say my goodbyes.

I have loved, been loved, lost love and found love again whilst living there so the house holds many memories. Some sad, some happy.

Goodbye my lovely little home, you have served me well, kept me warm and protected my son and I from the elements. I shall miss you.

I have stopped sobbing now, I realise that there are people worse off than I am and that, at this point in time, this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I trust in the old adage that the universe has something better in store for me… I just wish it would hurry up! Cucumber is good for puffy eyes right?



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Dad… or not?

Being angry doesn’t even cover a tiny proportion of how I feel right now.

How can she call herself a caring mother when all she is doing is messing with her young daughter’s head?

Does she want her to be as fucked up as she is?

He isn’t her dad!!! Don’t make her call him that. It’s unfair and cruel, to her and her real dad.

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My gorgeous new hand crafted bracelet. If you like handcrafted jewellery check out Maz Rocks on Facebook.

My gorgeous new hand crafted bracelet. If you like handcrafted jewellery check out Maz Rocks on Facebook.

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8 Year old turned up with this. I don’t like it. Spoilsport mum! Am I alone in this?


P.S. It’s not real it’s a transfer.

8 Year old turned up with this. I don’t like it. Spoilsport mum! Am I alone in this?


P.S. It’s not real it’s a transfer.